


Insecure

by Cheyrandom10



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Blow Jobs, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:33:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27313402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cheyrandom10/pseuds/Cheyrandom10
Summary: Patrick has never felt that insecure before. Until now.
Relationships: Patrick Kane/Jonathan Toews
Kudos: 37





	Insecure

**Author's Note:**

> Kinda wanted to write something with self-esteem issues for some reason. Leave me some comments of feedback. Second fic here we go.

Patrick was never that insecure before. He was always especially confident in his hockey skills, and never really cared about much else to be honest. Recently thought he's definitely been caring a bit too much about his looks. 

It started when Patrick realized every single person around him has that special person. Except him. Even though Jonny semi recently broke up with his long time girlfriend it won't be long before he has a new one. 

The only reason why Patrick hasn't had any luck must be his looks, what else could there be. He used to get chirped as a rookie about his appearance. How his hair was always a mess, how stupid his gap-toothed smile is, sometimes even how he looked like a girl with his feminine cheekbones. It used to be mindless chirping back then or so he thought. 

Patrick has been ruminating about his appearance for a while when it all comes to head. The team are all at a bar after a win, just shooting the shit and drinking beer. Jonny sits to his right and Sharpy to his left and a hot girl comes over and immediately starts chatting up Jonny.

Patrick kinda sits there awkwardly when he makes eye contact with the girl. She pulls a face like she smelled something bad "What are you looking at?" She demandeds staring at him. 

Jonny whips his head around to stare at Patrick too. "Nothing" Patrick shakes his head looking down. 

She somehow looks angry for some reason "Have you never seen a girl up close, is that it huh?" Patrick looks around the room avoiding her gaze. 

Sharpy sensing something is up looks at the three of them in this weird tension. "Whats up?" Sharpy asks just as confused as Patrick.

"Your friend here thinks he has the right to look at me" She says scornful. Patrick has never been so embarrassed. 

"I'm sorry I didn't mea-" she cuts him off "Don't think about looking at me when you look the way you do" She scoffs and Patrick can't even look at anyone to see the reaction her words got.

"Woah there I'm sure out little peekaboo didn't mean any harm" She lets out a mean laugh at that "Please just looking at him gives me a headache" 

Jonny finally says to her "Okay you should go" 

She looks at Jonny confused like he should be on her side and shrugs "Whatever stay here with that loser" and she finally leaves.

Patricks face is on fire and he feels so ashamed. He can't do anything right god. "Sorry about that Jonny I'm sure you could've got her to go home with you" Patrick refuses to look at Jonny directly. 

"Pat what are you even talking about?"

"I'm gonna head home see ya guys at practice" Patrick struggles out of the booth and heads home. 

At practice the next day the first thing Jonny says to him is "That was weird last night with that girl right?" 

Patrick just shrugs "It's not like the first time man I get it" Jonny looks at him hard "Get what?" He demands "Nothing Jonny let it go" 

Jonny looks like he wants to argue but leaves it go. Patrick really doesn't want to explain to Jonny of all people that he is ugly. Ugly, he hates that word but it somehow fits in his situation. 

Everything is normal in Patricks life after his realization. Patrick can't really do much to try and change the way he looks, but it does make him try a little harder. 

He wears a hat constantly, not wanting to show off his hair. He stopped wearing sweats all the time and started dressing up more. Patrick even started a skincare routine hoping that it'll clear his skin up.

Jonny and him are watching a movie laying on the couch together. Patrick always make sure that he looks as put together as he can infront of Jonny. 

He always cared too much about what Jonny thinks of him. 

"Aren't you uncomfortable?" Jonny questions. 

"What do you mean?"

"I mean you're wearing jeans and a hat at 11pm in your own house, relax a little" Jonny says looking a bit uncomfortable himself. 

"Oh I just-" Patrick really can't finish the sentence. He just wants to look the best that someone like him can for Jonny. 

They just sit there staring at the tv and ignoring eachother after that. Eventually Patrick breaks the tension "I just, you know, don't want to look bad all the time" 

Jonny looks a bit dumbstruck, like Patrick just told him pigs can fly. "Pat you can never look bad, you always look..." Jonny trails off looking weird. He can't even say Patrick looks good just to make him feel better. It's that much of a lie that Jonny can't even say it. 

Patrick shrugs and can't stop the quiver of his lip. "It's fine" and god help him is voice is shaky. 

Patrick is so pathetic. 

Jonny is looking more and more concerned. His voice is becoming urgent "Why do you keep saying shit like that?" 

"It's just facts Jonny" 

"Facts... you have never looked bad in your life Pat you know that" The thing is Jonny looks sincere. Jonny with his beautiful brown eyes and tanned face. 

"Jonny come on" Patrick is starting to get annoyed "I'm..... ugly okay don't talk around it like I'm going to break" 

The silence in the room is heavy. Patrick has never seen Jonny so shocked in the decade they've known eachother. Patrick stands up angry. 

"Stop looking so stupid Jonny and just get out" 

Jonny grabs his wrist and pulls him back down on the couch. Sitting this close to Jonny feels like a sin. He looks so sad. Patrick never wanted to make him sad. 

"How can you say that, you know I think your-" Jonny cuts off again struggling like he's scared to speak his mind. 

"What you think I'm what, because my whole life I have been rejected. I just recently realized it's becasue no one can stand the sight of me" 

"Stop saying that BULLSHIT Patrick" Jonny yells "Your the most beautiful person I have ever met okay, ever since I met you I haven't stopped looking at you" 

Patrick can't hold back his sob. He just crumbles into himself. How can Jonny say that. Jonny just holds him. 

"You're my best friend" Jonny said it simply because it's true. They have been bestfriends since rookie year when they were shoved together in a hotel room. 

"Patrick please tell me how I can fix this" Patrick shakes his head because for once Jonny can't fix this. He feels flayed open, raw, Jonny seeing this part of him.

"I just need you" Patrick says in a whisper, hiding his face against Jonnys chest. Jonny brings a hand up and cups Patricks head and trails it down to his cheekbone. 

"You've always had me" Jonny kisses him, softly as though not to break this quiet admission. 

"Patrick you are so gorgeous it hurts to look at you sometimes, your like the sun" Jonny trails his lips across Patricks jaw and to his ear. 

"God and when you look up at me with your baby blue eyes glittering and biting your lip" Jonny sighs in Pats ear "I could eat you right up" 

Patrick lets out a wet chuckle at that. "Yeah?" Jonny just kisses but this time like he means it. Patrick can't help himself but forget all his worries and just lets Jonny kiss him. 

Jonny keeps trailing a hand up and down Patricks back and starts sucking on his neck. Patrick just keeps letting out these whimpers at the feeling. 

"Can I suck your dick Jonny please?" Patrick ask as sweetly as he can. Jonny stares at him and his eyes are so dark it overwhelmes Patrick having them on him. 

"Ofcourse baby" Jonny sits back on the couch and spreads his legs. Patrick his quick to shove down his pants and just mouths at Jonnys underwear, getting it wet. 

Jonny groans "Stop teasing me baby and get my dick out" And well when can Patrick ever deny Jonny. Patrick takes a moment to stare at Jonnys dick and the precome dripping at the tip before going for it. 

Patrick can admit that he is sloppy but he can't help it. He loves sucking on Jonnys dick so much. The taste, the feel of it on his tongue, and the groans Jonny keeps letting out. 

Jonny tangles his hand in Patricks hair and tugs it. "Can I cum on you face Pat" Patrick nods and Jonny pulls his dick out of Pats mouth and shoots all over his face. 

Patrick feels Jonnys cum everywhere. On his eyelids, his lips, his cheekbones and he feels marked. He is all Jonnys.

"Your mine Patrick" Patrick nods and lets himself go. He doesn't have to worry about anything else because Jonny has him.


End file.
